Beautiful Sight
I was bending over to wipe up a spill on the kitchen floor when my wife walked into the room behind me. “See anything you like?” I asked suggestively.
”Yeah,” she said. “You doing housework.”
翻譯：
——宜人的風景
（那次）我正在廚房里彎腰去擦灑在地板上的東西，這時，我妻子我身后進來了。“看到有什么你喜歡的東西？（灑掉的食品中）？”我提示她說。“當然有了”她說，“你做家務”。
New vet
Shortly after graduating from veterinary school, I rode with my mother in the Michigan Trail Riders‘ annual trek across state. Late one afternoon, I was summoned to look at a horse that had reared up and flipped over in his trailer. Fortunately the horse was not seriously injured, but some lacerations needed stitching.
As I worked, I heard my mother chatting with the perturbed owner. “Don‘t worry, sir,” she said. “My daughter‘s a great vet. She‘ll fix your horse up just fine.”
”That‘s good to hear,” said the man. “How long has she been a vet?”
”A week,” replied my mother, proudly. Then hastily she added, “But she‘s been embroidering since she was eight years old.”
翻譯：
新手獸醫
從獸醫學校畢業沒幾天，我就跟媽媽騎馬去參加了密歇根州一年一度的穿越全州的野外騎行活動。一個下午的晚些時候，我被召去看一匹馬。那馬在猛跳的時候碰到了身后的拖卡。 幸好，馬傷得不重，但傷口裂開處要縫上幾針。
我正治馬的時候，我聽到媽媽跟那焦躁不安的馬主在說話.。“不用擔心，先生，” 媽媽說，“我女兒是個很好的獸醫，她會把你的馬治得復舊如初”。
“那太好了”，那人說。“你女兒當獸醫多長時間了？”
“一個星期，”，我媽媽回答，甚是自豪。 然后，她猶豫地補充說，“不過，她在8歲時就開始做繡花了”。
Only gravedigger in town
One of my students could not take my college seminar final exam because of a funeral. No problem, I told him. Make it up the following week. That week came, and again he couldn‘t take the test due to another funeral. “You‘ll have to take the test early next week,” I insisted. “I can‘t keep postponing it.”
”I‘ll take the test next week if no one dies,” he told me. By now I was suspicious.
”How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?”
”I don‘t know any of these people,” he said. “I‘m the only gravedigger in town.”
翻譯：
鎮上唯一的掘墓人
我的一個學生因為要出席葬禮不能參加學校的中段考。 “沒問題”，我告訴他，“之后一周補考”。到了那周，他又不參加考試，因為他要參加另外一次葬禮。 “那你就下周初再考”， 我堅持說。“我不能老是往后延”。
“我下周可以考，如果下周沒人死的話，”他跟我說。
聽到這個，我有點懷疑了。
“你認識的人里面在三個星期之中有那么多會去世嗎？”
“這些人我一個都不認識”，他說。“鎮上就我一個挖墳的”。
Thank-you note
The son of a friend graduated from high school, so I sent a card to congratulate him. I enclosed money and scribbled some words of wisdom inside. He sent me a note back saying, “Thank you for the gift. Also thank you for the advice. My mom always told me that you are full of it.”
翻譯：
感謝信
我一個朋友的兒子高中畢業，我給他寄了個卡表示祝賀，并在信封里面放了些錢，隨意寫上了幾句鼓勵的話。 他給我回寄一封信，上面寫道，“謝謝您的禮物。 同時也感謝您的建議。我媽總是跟我說你滿腦子都是這些東西 ”。
Tags:英語 故事
