The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry . When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams .

“What‘s in here?” he asked.

“Dirt,” the driver replied.

“Take them out,” the guard instructed. “I want to check them.”

Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.

“What‘s in the bags this time?” he asked.

“Dirt, more dirt.” said the man.

Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender .

Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, “Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you‘ll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time.”

Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender‘s ear and whispered, “Cars.”

翻譯：

一個形跡可疑的人開車來到邊境，哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在檢查汽車行李箱時，驚奇地發現了六個接縫處鼓得緊繃繃的大口袋。

“里面裝的是什么？”他問道。

“土。”司機回答。

“把袋子拿出來”，哨兵命令道：“我要檢查。”

那人順從地把口袋搬了出來。確實，口袋里除了土以外，別無他特。哨兵很不情愿地讓他通過了。

一周后，那人又來了，哨兵再次檢查汽車上的行李箱。

“這次袋子里裝的是什么？”他問道。

“土，又運了一些土。”那人回答。

哨兵不相信，對那些袋子又進行了檢查，結果發現，除了土以外，仍舊一無所獲。

同樣的事情每周重演一次，一共持續了六個月。最后，哨兵被弄得灰心喪氣，干脆辭職去當了酒吧侍者。

有天夜里，那個形跡可疑的人碰巧途經酒吧，下車喝酒。那位從前的哨兵急忙迎上前去對他說，“我說，老兄，你要是能幫我一個忙，今晚的酒就歸我請客。你能不能告訴我，那段時間你到底在走私什么東西？”

那人俯身過來，湊近侍者的耳朵，裂開嘴笑嘻嘻地說：“汽車。” 

 sentry（哨兵）
seams（縫合線）
bartender（酒保）
 on the house（免費）
 
 

Talking on the Telephone
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.
“You talk to people on the telephone and don‘t see them on the other end of the line, right?” he began.
The children nodded yes. “Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He‘s on the other end, but you can‘t see him. He is listening though.”
Just then a little boy piped up and asked, “What‘s his number?”

翻譯：
在電話中交談 　　
每個星期天牧師都會把孩子們叫到教堂前面，然后給他們講一個故事。一天，他為了更好地闡述祈禱的含義，帶來了一臺電話機。
“你們和別人在電話里交談，并沒有看到電話線另一端的人，對嗎？”他開始問道。孩子們點頭稱是。“好的，和上帝交談就象通過電話交談一樣。他就在另一端，雖然你看不見他，但是他正在聆聽你的心聲。”
就在這時，一個小男孩尖著嗓子問道：“那他的電話號碼是什么？”