★ How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

　　不慎的時候只要一根火柴就足以引發(fā)森林大火，而想點(diǎn)燃一堆篝火卻需要整整一盒火柴，真納悶。

　　★ Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I‘ll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?”

　　不知道是誰第一個看見母牛，就敢說：“我要使勁擠一擠那兩排倒吊著的玩意兒，流出來的是啥俺就喝啥”?

　　★ The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

　　如果放在家里的東西找不回來，最容易的辦法就是去買個新的回來。

　　★ Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

　　你是否注意到，這年頭，自從有了數(shù)碼攝錄機(jī)，就再也沒人象以前那樣老是說不明飛行物的事情了

　　★ Who was the first person to say, “See that chicken there? I‘m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.”

　　不知道是誰第一個看見母雞，就敢說：“看見那只雞沒有?我就等著吃從它屁股里面滾出來的東西。”

　　★Why doesn‘t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

　　膠水為啥就不會粘在膠水瓶里面啊?

　　★ I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

　　自從我聽說“人還是死于天然原因者居多”之后，我就再也不敢拼命吃天然食品了。

　　★Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

　　園藝定律：區(qū)分益草和害草的辦法是，拔出來試試——如果很容易拔掉，就證明它是益草。