1.A Boy with a Big Head

A boy cried to his mother, “All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head.”　　
“Don‘t listen to them,” his mother said, “You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes.”
“Where is the shopping bag?” 　　
“I haven‘t got one-use your hat.”

翻譯：

大頭娃娃

一個小男孩向他母親哭訴道：“他們都取笑我，說我腦袋大。” “別聽他們的，”他母親安慰道，“你有一個很漂亮的腦袋。好啦，別哭了，去商店買十斤土豆來。” 　　
“購物袋在哪兒？” 　　
“沒購物袋了—-就用你的帽子吧。”

2.Blind Date

After being with her all evening, the man couldn‘t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, “I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.””Thank heavens,” his date replied. “If yours hadn‘t, mine would have had to!”

翻譯：

相親

和盲約對象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開了。當他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說：“有個不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛去世了。”“謝天謝地！”他的約會對象說，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了！”

 
3.Lawyer and Engineer

A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I‘m here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything.”
“That‘s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I‘m here because my house were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.”
The lawyer looked somewhat confused. “How do you start a flood?” he asked.

翻譯：

律師與工程師

一個律師與一個工程師在加勒比海邊釣魚。律師說：“我到這里是因為我的房子被大火燒了，保險公司賠償了我所有的損失。”
“這太巧了，”工程師說，“我是因為房子被洪水沖垮了，保險公司也賠償了所有的損失。”
律師看起來有些困惑，“你是怎么引起洪水的？”他不解的問。

 4.A Problem in Arithmetic

Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all of the arithmetic problems in his book easily.
One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruit store. There was a sign in the window which said, “Apple-Six for five cents.” An idea came to Bill and he went into the store. “How much are the apples?” he asked the store.

“Six for five cents.” “But I don‘t want six apples.” “How many apples do you want?” “It is not a question of how many apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic.” “What do you mean by a problem in arithmetic?” asked the man.
“Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worth four cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples are worth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worth nothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you.”
Bill picked out a good apple, began to eat it, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprise that he could not say a word.

翻譯：

數學問題

比爾是一個好學生，也是個聰明的孩子。他喜歡學數學，課本上所有的數學問題他都能不費勁地解答。

有一天，在上學路上，比爾經過一家水果店。該店窗戶上有個招牌上寫著：“蘋果–五美分六個。”比爾腦筋一轉，進了店門。 “蘋果怎么賣？” “五美分六個。” “但我不想要六個。” “你想要幾個？” “這不是我想要幾個的問題。這是個數學問題。” “數學問題？你說這話是什么意思？”

“你看，如果六個蘋果五美分，那么五個蘋果四美分，四個蘋果三美分，三個蘋果二美分，二個蘋果一美分，一個蘋果就不要錢。我只要一個蘋果，如果一個蘋果一分錢也不要的話，那我也就沒必要給你錢了。”

比爾揀了一個好蘋果，開始吃了起來，然后興高采烈地邁出了店門。那個售貨員吃驚地望著這個小男孩，一句話也說不出來。