Pretend Doctor
For several years, my job was to answer all viewer phone calls and mail concerning the daytime television soap operas our company produced. One day a woman called wanting medical advice from an actor who portrayed a doctor on one of our shows. I explained that the man wasn‘t a real doctor and couldn‘t help her.
After a moment of shocked silence, the woman replied indignantly, “Well, no wonder it takes his patients months to recover!”
翻譯：
假醫(yī)生
作為公司的前臺(tái)接待員，第一天上班時(shí)，我一個(gè)接著一個(gè)地接聽(tīng)電話(huà)，就象那些身經(jīng)百戰(zhàn)的老接待員一樣。 當(dāng)一個(gè)員工走過(guò)我的桌子時(shí)，她問(wèn)，“你以前干過(guò)前臺(tái)的活嗎？” “沒(méi)有”，“我說(shuō)。 “我想你就沒(méi)干過(guò)。 你剛才跟打電話(huà)來(lái)的人說(shuō)，‘你想找的人休假去了。你要不要等一會(huì)？’”
Would you care to hold?
There I was, my first day On the Job as a receptionist, handling one phone call after another like an old pro, when an employee stopped by my desk. “Have you ever done this before?” she asked. “No,” I said. “Thought not. You just told that caller, `The person you want is on vacation. Would you care to hold?‘”
翻譯：
要等一會(huì)嗎？
幾年來(lái)，我的工作就是接聽(tīng)觀眾打來(lái)的電話(huà)和回復(fù)他們的郵件，他們是想了解我們公司出品的白天肥皂劇的一些情況。 一天，一位女士打來(lái)電話(huà)，要求我們一位在劇中飾演醫(yī)生的演員給他一些醫(yī)療上的建議。 我解釋說(shuō)，那人不是真的醫(yī)生，幫不了她。
在一陣驚愕的沉默之后，那位女士很氣憤地說(shuō)，“呃，怪不得他治病總要幾個(gè)月才能好”。
The surf was too loud
Some people just aren‘t happy unless they have something to complain about. I stayed in a beautiful hotel right on the beach in California — an idyllic spot, you would think. But while I was waiting to check out, I heard the manager ask another guest, “Did you enjoy your stay?”
”Not really,” the man said grimly.
”I‘m sorry to hear that,” the manager apologized.
”What was the problem?”
”The surf was too loud.”
翻譯：
海浪聲太大了
除非讓他們抱怨一下，要不，有些人永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)高興。 （有一次）我住在加州一家漂亮的海邊酒店—- 你會(huì)覺(jué)得那是一個(gè)田園風(fēng)景點(diǎn)。 但是，在我等待結(jié)賬退房的時(shí)候，我聽(tīng)到經(jīng)理問(wèn)題另一名客人，“您在這住得滿(mǎn)意嗎？”
“不怎么滿(mǎn)意” 那人一臉嚴(yán)峻地說(shuō)。
“我很抱歉聽(tīng)到這個(gè)”， 經(jīng)理表示了歉意。
“是有什么問(wèn)題嗎？”
“海浪聲太大了。”
What a rat looked like
Rodents had overrun a posh private school near New York City. So the headmaster, a friend of mine, asked a health inspector to deliver a slide presentation to teachers and students, showing how to remedy the situation, i.e., stow trash, no food in class, etc.
The following day, a teacher had her very young children write a letter to the inspector, thanking him for the visit. One of the students wrote, “Dear Mr. Johnson, Thank you for coming to my school. Until I saw you, I didn‘t know what a rat looked like.”
翻譯：
老鼠是什么樣子的
嚙齒類(lèi)動(dòng)物在紐約市附近的一家時(shí)尚的私立學(xué)校泛濫成災(zāi)。 那家學(xué)校的校長(zhǎng)（我的一個(gè)朋） 請(qǐng)來(lái)了一位健康檢查員來(lái)給在校師生作一次幻燈演示，告訴他們?nèi)绾翁幚磉@種情況，如，要垃圾裝好，上課不能吃東西等等。
第二天，一個(gè)老師讓她的那些年紀(jì)還非常小的學(xué)生給那位檢查員寫(xiě)封信，感謝他的來(lái)訪(fǎng)。 其中一個(gè)學(xué)生這樣寫(xiě)道，“親愛(ài)的 Johnson先生， 感謝您來(lái)到我的學(xué)校，在看到你之前，我還不知道老鼠長(zhǎng)的什么樣
