1.A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, “Well, when I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah.”
The teacher asked, sarcastically, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”
The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”（英語笑話帶翻譯 m.fenghuangtongcheng.cn ）
翻譯：
一個小女孩和她的老師在說鯨魚。
老師說，鯨魚不可能吞了一個人，因為，即使這是一個非常大的哺乳動物，它的喉嚨是非常小。
小女孩說，約拿被一條鯨魚吞噬。
老師惱火的重申鯨魚不能吞下一個人身體是不可能的。
小女孩說， “好吧，當我到達天堂，我會問約拿” 。
老師問，反譏道： “什么，如果約拿到地獄呢” ？
小女孩回答說： “那你問他” 。
2.A little boy bustled（喧鬧，忙亂） into a grocery one day with a memorandum（便箋） in his hand.
″Hello, Mr. Smith,″He said, ″I want thirteen pounds of coffee at 33 cents.″
″Very good,″ said the grocer, and he noted down the sale.
″Anything else, Charlie?″
″Yes. Twenty－seven pounds of sugar at 9 cents.″
″The loaf? And whatelse?″
″Seven and a half pounds of bacon at 30 cents.″
″That will be a good brand. Goon.″
″Five pounds of tea at 90 cents, eleven and a half quarts of molasses at 8 cents a pint, two eight－pound hams at 31 cents, and five dozen jars of pickled walnuts（核桃） at 34 cents a jar.″
The grocer made out the bill.
″It‘s a big order,″ he said. ″Did your mother tell you to pay for it？″
″My mother,″ said the boy, as he pocketed the neat and accurate bill, ″has nothing to do with this business. It is my arithmetic（算術） lesson and I had to get it done somehow.″
翻譯：
一天，一個小男孩匆匆忙忙地走進了一家雜貨店，手里拿著一張清單。
“史密斯先生，你好，”他說道：“3毛3分錢一磅的咖啡，請給我13磅。”
“好的，”雜貨店老板馬上把這筆生意記了下來。
“還要別的什么，查理？”
“要的。再要27磅糖，9分錢一磅的。”
“面包要不要？還要什么？”“7磅半咸肉，3毛錢一磅的。”
“這肉是名牌的呢，還有呢？”
“9毛錢一磅的茶葉，給我5磅，8分錢一品脫的糖漿要11夸脫半，3毛1分錢一磅的8磅的大火腿要兩只，3毛4分錢一罐的腌核桃要5打。”
雜貨店老板把賬單算了出來。“你買了很多東西，”他說：“你媽媽叫你現在把錢付清嗎？”
小男孩一面把那清楚準確的賬單放進口袋，一面說：“這和我媽沒關系，這是我自己的算術作業,我總得想辦法把它做出來！”
3.”Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” Bob asked …”how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?” “Nothing is easier,” he replied. “You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track.” ” Well, What sort of question?” “Well, you might ask him, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?‘ Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn‘t happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don‘t know much about history.”
翻譯：
“醫生，你能不能告訴我，”鮑勃問，“對于一個看上去很正常的人，你是怎樣判斷出他有智力缺陷的呢？”“再沒有比這容易的了，”醫生回答，“問他一個簡單的問題，簡單到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要問什么樣的問題呢？”“嗯，你可以這樣問，‘庫克船長環球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次呢？’”鮑勃想了一會兒，緊張的回答道，“你就不能問另外一個問題嗎？坦率地說，我對歷史了解的不是很多。”
Teacher: When was Rome built?
Tom: At night.
Teacher: Who told you that?
Tom: You did. You said Rome wasn‘t built in a day.
翻譯：
老師：羅馬是什么時候建成的？
湯姆：夜晚。
老師：誰告訴你的？
湯姆：你做的。您說過羅馬不是一天建成的。
