1.Now We Run

　　A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, “And now what, my little man?” The boy replies, “Now we run!”

翻譯：

　　現在我們跑吧

一個牧師正沿著街走路，這時他看到街對面有個小男孩正試圖按一所房子的門鈴。但這個小孩太小了，門鈴又高，他夠不著。看到那個小男孩費了很多勁，牧師走近了他。牧師優雅地穿過馬路，走到小家伙的背后，輕輕地把手放在小男孩肩頭，按響了門鈴。他彎下身子，微笑著問道：“接下來怎么辦，孩子？”小男孩回答說：“接下來我們跑。”

2.WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING

　　Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She

　　locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman

　　on the door: “NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING.”

　　When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:

　　”THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!”

翻譯：
　　

　　我們什么也沒留下

　　布朗太太要外出一天。 她鎖好了房門，在門上給送牛奶的人釘了一張便條：“家里沒人，請不要留下任何東西！” 她當天晚上回家后發現房間門被撞開，房子被洗劫一空。在她留給送奶人的便條上，她發現被補充了一句：“謝謝！我們什么也沒留下！”

3.Americans have a strong sense of humor.

　　Because everyone has ancestors, family and friends of every possible race, color, creed and national origin, and because sensitivity to such differences has reached unprecedented tenderness in recent years, it is considered rude to tell a joke that perpetuates an ethnic, social, religious, sexual, or racial stereotype. Nevertheless that still leaves plenty of material for humor, such as occupation, political persuasion, or region of origin. For example:

　　A Texan was boasting to an Arkansan about his ranch. “Why, my ranch is so big,” he said, “that if I start out in my truck in the morning to drive around it, it’s night by the time I get home.” The Arkansan nodded understandingly and said, “Yep. I had a truck like that once.”

　　The only group detested enough to be a suitable butt for barbed humor is lawyers. Lawyers are unpopular because they’re only consulted in times of distress. Any lawyer joke is sure to draw a laugh.

　　　 “Did you hear that medical laboratories have started using lawyers instead of white rats? There are more of them and there are some things even a laboratory rat just won’t do.”

　　Politicians are also fair game, but since approximately two-thirds of the nation’s congressional representatives are law school graduates, such jokes are really just a subset of the ’lawyer’ canon.

翻譯：

　　美國人是很幽默的。

　　由于各人的祖先，家庭和朋友都有各自不同的種族，膚色，宗教信仰和民族淵源，又由于人們對這種不同之處的敏感在近幾年來已經達到空前微妙的地步，因此，講帶有民族，社會，宗教，性或種族類別的笑話就被認為是很不禮貌的事。盡管如此，能構成幽默的素材仍然不少，如職業，政治信仰或出身地等。例如：

　　 有一個得克薩斯人對一個阿肯色人吹噓自己的牧場。“嗨，我的牧場可大了，”他說，“要是我早上開著卡車出門饒它走一圈，回到家時就是夜晚了。”那阿肯色人點了點頭，滿理解的樣子，說，“是啊，我有過一輛卡車也是那么大。”

　　 唯一的一幫不討人喜歡而適宜當諷刺幽默靶子的人是律師。律師之所以不得人心是因為人們只是在煩惱的時候才去找他們。任何有關律師的笑話肯定是引人發笑的。

　　 你聽說了嗎？醫學實驗室已經不用白鼠而開始用律師了。律師比白鼠多。而有些事就是實驗室的老鼠也做不了的。

　　 政治人物也是被諷刺的對象，不過既然約三分之二的國會議員都是法學院的畢業生，這些笑話也就是“律師全集”中的“分冊”而已了。