1.Sharing the Apples

Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.
So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.
Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me I‘d have given you the large one and had the small one myself.
Well, said Harry, that‘s what you‘ve got, so what are you worrying about?

翻譯：
分蘋果

媽媽給了哈里兩個蘋果，一個大一點，另一個小點兒。跟妹妹分著吃。媽媽說。
所以，哈里就把小個的給了妹妹，自己開始啃那個大個的。
哼，妹妹說，如果媽媽給了我，我會把大的給你，把小的留給自己的。
對呀，哈里說，你拿到的不就是小的嗎？還著什么急呀？

2.Intelligent son

One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn‘t write the address and addressee‘s name on the envelope.　　
After the son comes back, the father asks him: “You have thrown the letter in the mail box?”　
“Certainly”
“You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?”
“I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope.”　　
“Then why you didn‘t take it back?” 　　
“I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!”

翻譯：
聰明的兒子

有一天,父親讓八歲的兒子去寄一封信,兒子已經(jīng)拿著信跑了,父親才想起信封上沒寫地址和收信人的名字。
兒子回來后,父親問他:“你把信丟進郵筒了嗎?” “當然”“你沒看見信封上沒有寫地址和收信人名字嗎?”
“我當然看見信封上什么也沒寫”“那你為什么不拿回來呢？”
“我還以為你不寫地址和收信人,是為了不想讓我知道你把信寄給誰呢!”

 
3.Fish net

 “Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?”
“A lot of little holes tied together with strings.” replied the little girl.

翻譯：
魚網(wǎng)

“你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的嗎，安？”老師發(fā)問道。
“把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了。”小女孩回答道。

 
4.Asking for a Raise

At the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldn‘t bother people in the outer office.

After listening to a few routine sound effects, we started playing around with low moans, maniacal（瘋狂的） screams, hysterical（歇斯底里的） laughter, pleading and gunshots. When I finally opened the door and passed the manager‘s secretary, she looked up and inquired, Asking for a raise again?

翻譯：
要求加薪

我在一家之聲工作。經(jīng)理把我叫進他的辦公室，讓我預試一下我們準備購買的一套新的音響效果設備。他關上門，以免打擾外面辦公室的人。

聽了幾個常規(guī)的音響效果后，我們開始試聽低聲的呻吟，狂亂的尖叫，歇斯底里的大笑，哀求聲和槍聲。最后我開門出去，從經(jīng)理秘書旁邊經(jīng)過時，她抬起頭問道：又要求加薪了？

Tags:英語 幽默 笑話 蘋果