1.How do I get the gum out?

 Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the stewardess explained it was to keep their ears from popping. When the plane landed, one of the passengers rushed up to her and said, I‘m meeting my wife right away. How do I get the gum out from my ears?

翻譯

怎么把口香糖取出來呢

當空中小姐給乘客們發口香糖的時候，她解釋說口香糖有助于他們防止耳鳴。飛機著陸后，一位乘客跑到這位空中小姐面前，說道：“ 我馬上就要見

到我妻子了。我怎么才能把口香糖從耳朵里面取出來呢？”

2.make my granny glad

 
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. “Now, children,” said she , “has anyone of you ever make someone else glad?”
“Please, teacher,”said a small boy,”I‘ve make someone glad yesterday.”
“Well done. Who was that?”
“My granny.”
“Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad.”
“Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I‘m going home,‘ and she said, ‘Well, I‘m glad‘!”

翻譯

讓外婆開心

一個主日學校校(基督教教會為了向兒童灌輸宗教思想, 在星期天開辦的兒童班)的老師在對學生講使別人高興的重要性。“現在，孩子們，”她說：“你們當中有誰讓別人高興過？”
“我，老師，”一個小男孩說：“昨天我就使別人高興過。”
“做得好，是誰呢？”
“我奶奶。”
“好孩子。現在告訴我們，你是怎樣使你奶奶高興的。”
“是這樣的，老師。我昨天去看她，在她那兒呆了三個小時。然后我跟她說：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她說：‘啊，我很高興！’”

3.A Blind Beggar

There was a blind beggar wearing sunglasses and asking for money. A drunk man walked by, thinking the beggar was pitiful, threw him a hundred dollars.After walking a few steps, the drunkard turned around to see the blind man holding the money up to the sunlight to check if it was genuine. The drunk man, feeling cheated, ran back and snatched the money back, “You’re gonna die! How dare you cheat me…”The blind man, not wanting to feel like a cheater, retorted, “Hey man, I’m sorry, I’m just here to replace my friend who really is blind. He went to the bathroom, and should be right back… Actually… I’m mute.”“Oh, oh, in that case…” whereupon the drunk threw the money back and stumbled away.

翻譯

醉漢和盲人乞丐

在路邊一個盲人乞丐戴著墨鏡在街上行乞。一個醉漢走過來，覺得他可憐，就扔了一百元給他。走了一段路，醉漢一回頭，恰好看見那個盲人正對著太陽分辨那張百元大抄的真假。醉漢過來一把奪回錢道：“你不想活了，竟敢騙老子！” 盲人乞丐一臉委屈說：“大哥，真對不起啊，我是替一個朋友在這看一下，他是個瞎子，去上廁所了，其實我是個啞巴。”“哦，是這樣子啊！”于是醉漢扔下錢， 又搖搖晃晃地走了……

4. The ability of the Kangaroo

The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they‘ll build the fence?” “I don‘t know, ” said the kangaroo. “Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.

翻譯

袋鼠的能力

動物園為剛引進的袋鼠建了一個特殊的八英尺高的圍墻。但是第二天早上，人們發現這動物在圍墻外面蹦跳著。于是圍墻高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠還是跑了出來。動物園經理甚感惱火，又叫人把圍墻高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠還是逃了出來。一個長頸鹿問袋鼠：“你認為他們會把圍墻建到多高？” “我不知道，”袋鼠說，“如果他們繼續開著大門，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”