１.A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let‘s get off the corner, people.” A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, “Let‘s get off that corner…NOW!” Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction. Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?” “Pretty good,” chuckled the veteran policemen, “especially since this is a bus stop!”

翻譯：
一名新警察與老警察開著警車第一次出去巡邏。 他們得到命令去疏散一群閑逛的人，于是他們開車去了那條街，看到路口站著一群人。新警察搖下窗戶：“大家注意了，快離開這里。”人們看了他幾眼，沒理他。他喊起來：“離開這里，馬上離開！”大家都不知道怎么回事，但是在他的威脅下還是離開了。新警察對他第一次執(zhí)行公務(wù)的結(jié)果很滿意，對老警察說：“我干得怎么樣？”“你做得很好，”老警察笑著說，“尤其是在公共汽車站?！?/p>

２.Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, “I hear sirens. Jump!” The second one said, “But we‘re on the 13 th floor!” The first one screamed back, “This is no time to be superstitious!”

翻譯：
兩個盜賊在一家旅館偷東西。第一個說：“我聽到警報響了，快跳吧！” 第二個說：“但是我們現(xiàn)在在第13層啊！” 第一個尖叫著回敬他：“都什么時候了，還這么迷信！”

３.In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly‘s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing.” Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. “Hey there,” said the doctor, “Don‘t be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there‘s another one coming.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. “Hold that lantern up, don‘t set it down there‘s another one!” said the doctor. Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. “No, don‘t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there‘s yet another one coming!” cried the doctor. The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, “You reckon it might be the light that‘s attracting them?

翻譯：
在田納西州叢林的深處，一個鄉(xiāng)下人的妻子半夜時分臨產(chǎn)，一名醫(yī)生被叫來幫手接生。 因為那個地方?jīng)]有通電，醫(yī)生把燈籠遞給那個快要當(dāng)爸爸的農(nóng)夫，說，“把這個高高舉著，這樣，我好干活”。 很快，一名男嬰降臨到這人世界上。 “嘿”，醫(yī)生說，“別著急把燈籠放下來，我覺得還有一個小孩要生出來。”，果然，沒幾分鐘，醫(yī)生又接生了一個嬰兒，這回是個女孩?！盁艋\舉高點，不要坐下來，還有”，醫(yī)生說。 又過了幾分鐘，第三個孩子降生了。 “別，別著急放下燈籠，看來，還有一個要出來!”，醫(yī)生不由得驚叫起來。 鄉(xiāng)下人撓頭抓耳，不明白是怎么回事，于是問醫(yī)生，“你覺得是不是，這些小家伙看到光所以爬出來了？”（英語笑話帶翻譯 m.fenghuangtongcheng.cn ）

４.Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we‘re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.””We‘re short-handed, Smith” the boss replies. “I can‘t give you the day off.” “Thanks, boss,” says Smith “I knew I could count on you!”

翻譯：
一天，史密斯去見他的客戶部領(lǐng)導(dǎo)，“老板”，斯密斯說，“我們家明天要大搞清潔，我老婆需要我回去幫忙清潔閣樓和車庫，搬搬挪挪什么的?！薄八姑芩拱?，你也知道，我們現(xiàn)在人手已經(jīng)不夠了”老板說，“明天的假我是沒法給你批了”。“多謝老板，”史密斯說，“我就知道跟著您干準(zhǔn)沒錯”。