cold and  chaude
 

A patron in Montreal cafe turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded. “This is an outrage,” he complained. “The faucet marked C gave me boiling water.””But, Monsieur, C stands for chaude – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal.””Wait a minute,” roared the patron. “The other tap is also marked C.””Of course,” said the manager, “It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city.”

冷與熱

蒙特利爾咖啡館的一位顧客擰開盥洗室的水龍頭，結果被水燙傷了。“這太可惡了，”他抱怨道，“標著C的龍頭流出的是開水。”“可是，先生，C代表Chaude，在法語里代表‘熱‘。如果您住在蒙特利爾的話就應該知道這一點。”“等等，”那位顧客咆哮著，“另外一個龍頭標的也是C。”“那當然，”經理說道：“這個C代表冷。畢竟，蒙特利爾是個雙語城市。”

 speeding

Traveling salesmen make their living visiting as many customers as possible. So speeding to get from one appointment to the next is not unheard-of. Which is how I got pulled over by a highway patrolman. “Don‘t you ever look at the speedometer?” the officer scolded. Before I knew it, the truth spilled from my mouth. “As fast as I was going,” I admitted, “I was afraid to take my eyes off the road.”

超速

因為旅行推銷員為了謀生需要拜訪盡量多的客戶，所以超速飛車趕場對于他們來說也不是沒有過的事情。有一次我就因為超速度行駛被一個公路巡警攔了下來。“你有沒有看過你的時速表？”那名警官責問。當我的回答一出口，我立刻后悔了，但已經太晚了。“車開得越來越快”，我如實地說，“我的眼睛得一直盯著前面，沒敢看別的”。

 
The Monkey

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says “Do you know your monkey stole my beer.” The pianist replies “No, but if you hum it, I‘ll play it.”

猴子
一男子去酒吧，點了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。當他環視酒吧時，發現一只猴子蕩下來，在他阻止之前，偷走了啤酒。該男子問酒吧招待，這只猴子是誰的。服務員回答說是鋼琴手的。男子走到鋼琴手面前問：“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒嗎？”鋼琴手回答說：“沒有，但是如果你能哼唱，我會為你演奏的。”

It‘s a good thing we didn‘t catch any more
 
Larry and Harry drove 500 miles to go fishing. They paid a huge sum to rent a cabin, a similar about to rent a boat. They fished for three days and caught only one fish between them.On the way home, Harry fiddled with（擺弄，玩弄） a calculator while Larry drove. After an hour, Harry said, Do you realize that this one fish we caught cost us almost $2,000?Wow! Larry said, It‘s a good thing we didn‘t catch any more.

幸虧我們沒有多釣到魚

拉里和哈里驅車500英里去釣魚。兩人花了一大筆錢租了一間小屋，又花了差不多同樣的錢租了一條船。兩人釣了三天，只釣到一條魚。在回家的路上，拉里開車，哈里撥弄著計算器。一小時后，哈里說：你可知道我們釣的這條魚幾乎用掉我們2000美元？哇！拉里應答：幸虧我們沒有多釣到魚。